Bond....James Bond! Taking a wrong turn!!

Licensed to Kill! Dressed to Seduce!

Casino Royale?? Imagine a B rated movie with a soap opera hunk changing his name to Bond and the produceders put a campaign to convince people that the movie is actually the same Character that we have adored and enjoyed over the decades.

Looks like the magic formula worked- Great reviews on the movie by critics; Raving accolades for the new Hunk! Looks like the magic formula worked at the box office as well.

After reserving most of my Bond experience in the past decade to DVDs on a small screen- I was very tempted to indulge myself to the new Bond -as the reviews and collections were enticing.

Decided to go cheap on the ticket and ended up for the discounted matinee show- still forking out a cool $6.75.

Entered the theatre and waited patiently for the main event to arrive. Looked around - there were TWO other people scattered arount the cinema. Trailers - one after the other and the long awaiting moment finally arrived.

The title song- nice the usual Bond tango to it - less the usual formula. mmm....may be they want to be different this time. Looking for the credit - looks like they forgot to pay royalty to the bond theme after deciding to go cheap on the budget!

Action - very manly! A long couple of fights and we finaly get introduced to the REAL Bond! Manly-Sexy-Well connected through the wireless world of Sony gadgets.

Waited for the moment for Mr.Bond to arrive!

The story line was very evasive- keeping me in the dark as to where he his headed next or Why!

mmmm...M looks familiar. Yes it is the bond movie alright.

Vroom Vroom... wow the usual car chase - now the action begins: False alarm- looks like they hired the Bond not for his driving skills as he left his License to drive somewhere else. Where is Q when we need him the most.

Sex element- this is not the usual MCP movie. May be just the opposite- attracting the wrong side of the audience- as we see more flesh - only this time More of Bond's flesh either naked or otherwise. Tights bulging in all the places and the camera man or is it the camera woman- seem to have done justice to the body!!

Then we get to see Mr Bond the softee....Falling in love and not able to save his flame who betrays him along the way!

Finally the climax comes and goes- the bond gets lucky a couple of times along the way. Also we find that HIS life was Spared!!! It sounds funny when M rubs in asking Mr Bond if he knew why his Life was spared???

Just when I was wondering if they had a mix-up switching the titles and the film- there comes the sound/music making me freeze for a moment. The usual, familiar and mesmerizing TUNE - THE TUNE - tantaratanta tan ..tantaratanatra tan..the standard Bond music. I start hoping that it was just a LOOONG trailer & the real Bond movie is just starting - as there were only two other people in the theatre when the whole shananigan started. No such luck...as the credit started rolling!!

I guess it all boils down to one thing and only one thing- Great Expectation! Lets see where I went wrong-

Title music and theme: typically the current day popular music with lot of bond and bond girls. Music not so upto date and it was definetly missing the girls!!

Gadgets: Mr Q usually comeup with some futuristic gadgets which typically takes wild imagination to concoct- this time around No Mr Q and no gadgets- only a couple of Sony PDA/ Camera Phone & a Sony Laptop!!

Cars: Typically a multi-mode amphibious vehicle with gadgets, gadgets & more gadgets making it a REAL thrill to watch it- movie after movie as they get creative and innovastive every time . But this time Bond is seen driving a low end Ford rental car- oooh la la..was it a night mare!

Casino: Typically en every Bond movie Bond plays one or at best two hands - where he cheats the villain and walks away with every penny in a slick fashion- this one may be because it is the main theme - goes on and on and on and finally in a very drawn out battle he wins?? Looks like MGR & Nambiar fight!

Girls: Blonde- nude and a toy in Bond's hand! Wow looks like they have updated the concept to reflect the new emerging trend in Women!!! Blone, Nude & a Sex/Emotional toy and Dumb - allright !! Only this time around it is the Bond who takes that role!

Love: What Love? Bond and Love?? Man oh man - Bond falls in Love and gets dumped by the Villy bond Girl- and he goes into an emotional Roller coaster- costing the Great fall for the Magesty!

Story: Very simple- In every movie we are told upfront what the plot is- who the villain is and we also have an indication on how it will play out in the final Grand Finale! No not this time- looks like they took the script straight out of Bollywood!


Ending: Usually M callying Mr Bond who is usually in a bed crawling with a blond- this time - what ever happened to our Hero or is it the Heroine who will be taking over in the next Bondie Movie- well atleast they the curtains with the titles rolling to the usual Bond movie- making you want to go and see any of the old Bond Movies to wipe out the taste from your mouth.

Why ??

- may be because the real Mr Q died and the creativeness for the formula - cars and gadgets went with him?
- MGM for the first time lets some one else share the production credit- this time its with Sony- that will explain why Bond is handicapped with Sony PDA/cell phone and Laptop- good thing Sony doesnt make cars - otherwise we will be looking at Bond driving one of the 700 miles a gallon car which is made of thin sheets and drives at 10 miles/hr but will last for ever!!!!